Increase in Diesel Thrash Enthusiasts at Swansea, Sheffield and Windermere announced by the Government

Outrage as Lake Windermere is not to be surrounded by god awful Overhead Electric Gantries and will be served by hellfire diesel traction - and hellfire diesel traction fans.

Now the inevitable has happened with out of depth Network Rail struggling hard in shit creek with only one very expensive paddle. They have been forced to suddenly lean over the side of their sinking boat, just by Westminster and say 'Actually lads, we don't have a chance of electrifying even a Hornby layout, never mind to bloody Swansea'.

The honesty that you are out of depth is refreshing, not quite as refreshing when it's an honesty while holding an increase of £1 Billion of public money in one very wet hand. This isn't as important as Northern Ireland and keeping a PM in the bumbags she is accustomed to so the Network Rail aftertaste is a little sour. 

The technology behind the recent announcements that their has been another almighty balls up with projects on Britain's railways is that railway technology is catching up. The future of Britain's Railways is one of a Driver, who while also guarding their train, will be leaning out with a big pole to raise the pantograph on their hybrid Loco when they reach the richest parts of Britain.

You will know when the poorest parts of our country are reached by train, your driver will nervously step out of his cab, lock the door, lower the shutters on the windows, suck in their gold teeth and fire up those diesel engines. Clag will pour across the ghettos of Northern England and West Wales as your Hybrid Loco then chugs on past Hovis Bikes and Cobbles littered with shoe shiners trying to earn a Quid to ask 'Please Sir, I want some more'.

PooTube

This is of course, great news for those campaigning for Battery Trains. OId Trains that have nipped to Poundland for the most 'Durexacell' batteries, and raided their Sky remotes to pile in as many batteries as they can fit in the space where an electric engine once sat. 

Wrapped in crusty Gaffa Tape, these batteries will fire old trains into a new lease of life on the shittest of shit train lines around the country. The places where electrification is only known as being on the manifesto of the local UKIP supporters, and where the only diesel engines are fueled by Red Diesel nicked from the nearest farmyard.

It all suddenly seems that diesel trains are likely to make a big comeback on the back of being capable to run on both electric lines and non electric lines of beauty. This new fangled idea is a big surprise.

Especially to those who remember it from 1962.