Labour to offer Free Meals to Passengers on Pacer Trains

Targeting those who have suffered in the past, Labour will charge those travelling First Class into London VAT on their coffees to fund hot meals for anyone having to bear a Pacer Train.

Remember when Labour used to do things? We're not going political here, its simply a shower of shite that even we wont touch but it is intriguing to see the extension of hot meals for unprivileged children being subsidised by parents of children who's nannies pick them up for the holidays and drop them back off with a fresh cheque.

So the new political movement, fresh from Sherwood Forest, is the rich feeding the poor. A struggle that we see all too often on the Railways is those in First Class arriving in London before those in cattle class behind, we have yet to see any First Class passengers subsidising those sat next to Jeremy Corbyn in the aisles behind.

Fare rises are constant, until there are spare seats and the luxury of getting a seat on mainline trains, will any foreign owner of our Trains want to reduce fares? Why would any business reduce the fares on a service that is packed to the rafters. A complaint about fare prices is less powerful and damaging than a Corbyn sat by the toilet door for a few minutes complaint.

Nothing fills us all with glee more than waving to those sat in a Pullman coach behind 'Flying Scotsman' as we stand with our Co-Op Meal Deal in the rain hoping they all have a jolly good time with their cream teas. 

This of course is pure jealousy rather than the elite class of traveller taking up space on a train filled to the rafters of those paying 'Standard Class' or those panicking as the Guard approaches them ready to pick up that the 'Advance' ticket you have will get you booted off the train at Stevenage. Having this Advantage Ticket is purely by going through the process of wanting to buy a Train ticket and becoming baffled with the long orange toilet paper that you then have to carry around until the Guard points out you are a moron in front of your fellow passengers sat on the floor.

This, of course, pales in comparison to those that live in the Postcode Lottery regions that have earnt the Pacer unit as standard travel for the commute to work. The unrivalled turds of Trains are the kick in the teeth after a long day at work. Although the end is in sight for this morning and evening terror, it still feels a long time coming.

The facts are simple, sitting on a bouncing bus for a period of time and paying for the privilege. The hope of more 'Plandampf' services relies not on the sight, sound and smell of steam on the mainline again but purely getting in a comfortable Mk2 carriage for the commute. 

Perhaps Maid Marian and Her Merry Men will begin to take the cream from the cream teas of First Class to add comfort to those bottoms who have endured terror on the Trains for too many years.